Time for a little church humor…

by Christine on March 6, 2012

Hope these make you chuckle!

 

The  Picnic  

A Jewish  Rabbi and a Catholic Priest met at the town’s  annual 4th of July picnic. Old friends, they  began their usual banter.

“This baked ham is  really delicious,” the priest teased the rabbi.  “You really ought to try it. I know it’s against  your religion, but I can’t understand why such a  wonderful food should be forbidden! You don’t  know what you’re missing. You just haven’t lived  until you’ve tried Mrs. Hall’s prized Virginia  Baked Ham. Tell me, Rabbi, when are you going to  break down and try it?”

The rabbi looked at  the priest with a big grin, and said, “At your  wedding.”

 

The  Usher

An  elderly woman walked into the local country  church. The friendly usher greeted her at the  door and helped her up the flight of steps.

“Where would you like to sit?” he asked  politely.

“The front row, please,” she  answered.

“You really don’t want to do  that,” the usher said. “The pastor is really  boring.”

“Do you happen to know who I am?”  the woman inquired.

“No,” he said.

“I’m  the pastor’s mother,” she replied indignantly.

“Do you know who I am?” he asked.

“No,”  she said.

“Good,” he  answered.

 

Show  and Tell

A  kindergarten teacher gave her class a “show and  tell” assignment. Each student was instructed to  bring in an object that represented their  religion to share with the class.

The first  student got up in front of the class and said,  “My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is  a Star of David.”

The second student got up  in front of the class and said, “My name is  Mary. I’m a Catholic and this is a Rosary.”

The third student got in up front of the  class and said, “My name is Tommy. I am  Baptist, and this is a  casserole.”

 

The  Best Way To Pray

A  priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the  best positions for prayer, while a telephone  repairman worked nearby

“Kneeling is  definitely the best way to pray,” the priest  said.

“No,” said the minister. “I get the  best results standing with my hands outstretched  to Heaven.”

“You’re both wrong,” the guru  said. “The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor.”

The repairman  could contain himself no longer. “Hey, fellas,”  he interrupted. “The best prayin’ I ever did was when I was hangin’ upside down from a telephone  pole.”

 

Goat  for Dinner  

The  young couple invited their elderly pastor for  Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen  preparing the meal, the minister asked their son  what they were having.

“Goat,” the little  boy replied.

“Goat?” replied the startled man of the cloth, “Are you sure about that?”

“Yep,” said the youngster. “I heard Dad say  to Mom, ‘Today is just as good as any to have  the old goat for dinner.’  ”

 

 

 

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