2013… Already?

by Christine on January 3, 2013

2013redThe older I get, the faster the years just wiz by!  I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one that feels this way – it’s funny how when you’re young, time just crawls slowly along…  couldn’t wait to be “13”, couldn’t wait to be “18”, couldn’t wait to be 21!  Now here I am almost 55… how did that happen?

I love receiving Christmas cards with letters inserted detailing the senders timeline – it’s kind of like Facebook on paper!  Speaking of Facebook, on the last day of 2012, I deactivated my personal account. Actually, I was looking to delete it & in my haste to do so before 2013 chimed in, I couldn’t find that feature so I’ll have to return to totally remove it from the grid.

As much as I enjoyed sharing & reading others posts, I came to the realization of what a waste of my time this practice was!  I’m not going to go into the details of my rationalization of using Facebook but I will say that for the past year I have been mentally tallying the time spent on this activity.  Ridiculous!

I need to get back to doing the things that are rewarding… like reading! I’ve always been a huge reader – I’d read anything!  However, in the last year I’ve read very little – unless we were traveling & I couldn’t do anything else.  As part of his aspirant program,  Scott has read several books that are very appealing to me – now I should have time to read them also!  I’m about to start “The Holy Longing” by Ronald Rolheiser.  It came highly recommended… Scott enjoyed it immensely!

As I grow in my spiritual journey, activities that I used to find attractive have all but disappeared from my life!  For instance, I used to be a huge fan of criminal thrillers & the like.  Then one day I asked myself, “What kind of crap am I feeding my mind?”  Our minds are like tape recorders… you could be recording the beautiful sound of a songbird & when you replay it, you hear the rumbling of a large truck in the background. You didn’t intend to record the truck but it’s there.

Our mind (sub conscious) works the same way.  While I’m rationalizing the positive plot of the show, my mind through my eyes is seeing horrible scenes of death, psychotic murders, violence, etc.   My sub-concious records those scenes and then retaliates by giving me nightmares!

All this being said,  I have a comfy chair, excellent lighting, a constant supply of excellent coffee (thanks to a subscription option with Amazon), a 5 lbs Chihuahua that asks nothing more than to snuggle up close while I flip the pages (or swipe) and best of all, a husband that can supply me with books that will feed my soul and hopefully bring me closer to God instead of away from him!

I am truly blessed as I have all the tools and resources needed to improve my spiritual life as Scott & I together pursue his journey towards the diaconate.  Now, if I can only start the process of looking for a spiritual director I’ll be getting back on the right track!

{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }

Diane January 3, 2013 at 11:59 pm

I enjoyed reading your blog tonight about your spiritual journey with your husband in formation and getting all those good books to read. My husband was just ordained in December. I have been in spiritual direction for 3 years, so many Graces and a closer relationship with God and others because of it. I hope to read the The Holy longing as well. I will pray for the both of you as you continue to answer the call to Diaconate.

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Christine January 4, 2013 at 7:25 am

Congratulations Diane (and your husband!)… Your journey is also beginning! I’m still working on the spiritual direction aspect – I have to stop thinking about it as constant confession… maybe you’d like to write a guest post on my site about how/why? I’d love to have another wife’s input!

Thank you for your prayers & for commenting. God bless you both!

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Diane January 4, 2013 at 7:12 pm

Thanks, I write a daily post on my facebook page whenever the Holy spirit prompts me to share that is where I have been writing the most. I am not sure I have much time for a blog post but you never know where the Spirit will lead me. I am starting the 19th annotation and weekly meetings with my spirtual director in a few weeks, and than applying for Spiritual director training and than helping the New Deacon with Baptisms, marriage prep and church activities. All good but no rest for the weary. May God bless you both for accepting his call and if you ever get back to facebook you can find me at Diane Fionda Abbondante. God speed.

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Mary January 7, 2013 at 3:10 pm

Sisters in Christ, I enjoy your blog, Christine and reading Diane’s comments. My husband is to be ordained in April and we both are continuing the discernment even though all of this new life is just around the corner. Please pray for both of us. At times it is really frightening and at times peaceful. I love spiritual direction and find that I just run by my journey with my spiritual director- rambling sometimes. I also highly recommend “The Holy Longing”. It is a read and read again type of book. I must say one thing- the road of formation to the diaconate is not an easy one. My husband has been leaving his comfort zone and finding himself with conflicts he never thought he would be facing in the Church. God works in surprising ways for sure. I am fully supportive of his ministry and the wives of our candidates meet frequently to discuss our own journeys. If I could offer diaconate directors one suggestion it would be to have someone oversee the “formation” of the wives. There is alot of support it seems after ordination but nothing extremely formal other than the yearly retreat, during formation. May God Bless you and your husbands in this new year.

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Christine January 7, 2013 at 3:49 pm

Happy New Year Mary!

You must both be so excited! Although my husband is thoroughly enjoying this process, I know he’s very anxious to see the fruit of his labors! I started the Holy Longing this morning & I am anxious to get back to it. I’ve decided to make it a new practice in the morning to get my coffee & head straight up to the loft and spend an hour reading, contemplating, meditating & praying – before I even turn on the computer! I realized that subtly I let my internet social life become more important than the time I spent in the presence of our Lord – at this time more than ever I need to make Him my priority!

You’re so right about the lack of formation for the wives… I think what happens is that budgets are too tight to make extra considerations for us & we’re expected to just “go with it”… I don’t know how it is in your diocese but here the entire process is handled by men – I really think women need to be involved in the formation process specifically for the formation of the wives. It’s a huge change in our lives and I really feel that we’re not given the consideration we deserve. Is it really is all about the men?

God Bless you and your husband & please stay in touch!

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Diane January 7, 2013 at 4:36 pm

We are very fortunate in our diocese of New Orleans that the wives can attend all formation classes with our husbands . I do not know how I would understand what he is going through without attending and having my own spiritual director. We have wives and husbands of past classes that are our mentors as well . It has been a blessing , we now can become mentors for others in discernment and formation . I guess I thought all programs were the same , we are blest here , my prayers for all .

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Mary January 12, 2013 at 7:19 am

I appreciate your comments- I have been attending formation weekends with my husband. We have two diocese that are in formation together and out of a total of 30 candidates only 6 wives attend regularly. Not everyone is able to attend but some just feel that they want to use that time for themselves. That is okay but I so agree with Diane that if I had never attended formation I would have not idea what my husband is experiencing. I love the weekends for the most part since I am learning so much. But I also think that I am discerning my “yes” to ordination because I see what he is going to be saying “yes” to. Hope this makes sense. We are blessed with a wonderful mentor couple and it is required that all candidates mentor with a permament deacon and also quarterly meet with the deacon and his wife. This is in addition to thier priest spiritual director. Keep praying for us and we will surely do the same for you.

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Christine January 13, 2013 at 12:19 am

I’m waiting to hear from a sister at our diocese… I asked her if she could recommend a sister to be my spiritual mentor/director. You’re so right about your “yes”.. its almost like our own “fiat” I had never thought about that! You’re in our daily prayers! God bless!

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